Writer's Clog...

Well some dem followers sayin hey Brett what da HELL main why aints you been bloggin lately? Well dat truth bein told, other day I snap a great photo and caint come up with a headline, so I takes to drankin beer, surfin, drankin mo beer, still no headline, what da HELL...

I go surf and drank some mo, new years revolution is in full effect.

Texas Boys Back in da Hay-ouse...

Well da Texas Crew done rolled up into the Village and the smart people has done hide all da women and chitlins...cold beers poppin, story tellin non stoppin...waves bein had and dat new grill is ready to draw a pension. Welcome home Tio Pelon, RAM Mike, Surfer/Brother Joe, and 82 pounds of luggage Doctor Richard...Pura Birras!

Soda Mary Yoga Team...what? who dat?

Well most of da crew here like to surf every day and we frowns on Homo-sexuals because we aint gay. Well most of us is a bunch of Lesbians trapped up here in our bodies but well dat a different story. Well today we try a little different experiment. We decides to move it up a notch on da food chain, takes our first Yoga class.
Oh shit man, put your foot up besides your head, go ahead, try it at home an dial 911. We are always lookin for ways to increase our bottom turns, get greater height on our top turns, throw more spray, kill da cut backs, float da float time, grab dat water an try for shampoo, we jus workin on our game baby...

Pinto Beans...God almighty help us...

Well you get yo self far enough south or north of da equator and bam, you aint got no mo pinto beans. For some reason all you can find are black beans or red beans, maybe some time white beans dat we grows right here on da beach, but hell no you aint seein no god dang pinto beans like you see in every meskin restaurant in Texas or at my Mom's house. Any ways one day I sees a big bag of pinto beans up in a fancy store all smuggled in and imported, god almighty just about shop lifted dat bag outta dat store, den I pays my fine fo shop liftin, git dem beans back to my crib and bam! god almighty, we gotta nice potta beans my friend, little bitty onyon, garlic, can o japs, coolantro, spicy sausage and a potta rice on da side, make you tink you at Popeye's fried chick by God.

Don't try an read my po-lice record cuz you aints gonna understands my circumstances evidence...we now fresh outta bubble gum and pinto beans... and all we gots left is sausage...

Baby Reef done woked up...

Well she been sleepin like a baby fo boutta week or so til dis mornin tide come rushin in and Baby Reef she say Boy what you got, here some ting for you, nice little jacked up wave, perfect right, I sees Pat in her natural stall position with da barrel hangin over head like a curtain, we havin lots of fun wid da Florida Crew, Lori, Jessica, Kurt (Kelly Junior), and Pablo (Chino), we go on out tomorrow moanin tries our luck again...

Coralillo Mofo...

Well dis just a pic we take bout 2 weeks ago small trip to a sexy wave we calls Coralillo Ho. It was Marias birthday and tradition is to break an egg on yo head when you turn cumpleanos. Any way she dont like dat part but what a great day...what a great wave, who dat longboard in da back yall...

Southern Swahili...who dat?

Well ever body axin me say hey Brett, I caints undastands dat blog you writin but the pitchers sho is pretty, what the hell kinda language you writin in bra? Well I tell dem, cuz every blog got to start out with the word "Well", cus dat how you start out your blog man, well we went surfin today and dranks some beers, but I digest. Any ways, backs to my point, we writin da blog in a higher level where only certain folks can understand, you understand? well den you are part of the higher level tinkers man. Dis language part of new invention and we calls it "Southern Swahili" cuz it really gets hot der in da south of Swahili. Dis is a mixture of multiple languages and cultures, start out with Southeast Houston Texas, mix in some Mexican Spanish hey vato! bring in da Carribean pigeon ting ting mon, you like dem crawfish, well den mix in some Cajun spice from my paw paw, gotta throw in some Hawaiin, hey you fuckin Haole! and bra bra bra, move it down south to Central America, and Bam! You got Southern Swahili...don't axe no mo questions cuz you may not unda stand...

Dilemma or Opportunity?

Well Larry done haul ass again back to Oregon an da sum beach left a 6-pack ice cold frozen Pilsens up in da fridge. Well man I build up a serious thirst man I say, drink dem now or wait for Larry come back in November? Well dem ole Pilsens didn't quite make it til lunch time til day all gone, Sorry Larry, see you when da rain stop comin down and da white people start comin back...

Sex on da Beach...

Well ever body know how da game works, but this stud makes it look easy...

Check out dem waves in background make you wanna grab yo longboard...

Big Men Eats Big Burgers...

Well now we ain't tryins to over compensate for something we aint got, we jus likes big burgers...2 big boys doin some re-search and developments...

Ceviche Mai...dat fish gotta flat face but sho taste good...

Well da best ceviche always start out with da best fish, dat be my good friend Mahi Mahi, also known as Dorado. Jus mix yo self up some chopped up onyon, chile dulce, little cool-antro, fresh Mahi straight out da sea, cook it in dat fresh squeeze lime juice, some secret ingrediants and pop it wid a little too basco for good measurements and bam you got yo self some fresh ceviche...say no mo, bring on dem soda crackers..

2 days later we still had some leftovers so I gives em to Lenin, our former science project that did not work out well cuz he always layin down in da Soda drunk and not workin but dat another story, any ways he gots himself big ole bowl of ceviche and he runnin down dat street like he stole it...

Big Ass Burgers and DVDs

Well dat Half Moon Bay Crew done haul ass outta here, done surf up all da kine waves, flirted wid all da kine womens and grilled up da biggest ass burgers you ever seen in your life. Here dat proof...

Muchas Gracias a los amigos y familia de Half da Moon Bay, Bienvenidos negros...you in da mob now and you caint git out...If dem authorities starts lookin for dis crew day names are: Big Bruce, Maui Jim, Cousin Johnny, and well maybe I should not put Jason's name up in here cuz his pay-roll officer jus might be lookin...

Day some Fruit on da front poach...

Well now all yous is thinkin I talkin bout Larry, no, dis aint bout Larry, dis bout REAL fruit right here on front porch dat Soda Mary. Now Larry he been actin little fruity but dat alright cuz he in love. I is talkin bout fruit right here in da front yard called avocados, guanabanas, star fruit, papayas and mangos, all here in da god dang yard. right now. If you walkin round hungry round hey, well you doin some ting wrong man. Enjoy da photos, look jus like porn...

Now if you walkin round here thirsty well dat your problem, walk yo ass down to da bar and git yo self some tin drank... we go surf tomorrow yall...

Half da Moon Bay Crew...step away from dat grilll...

Well man, don't know what say but da boys from Half Moon Bay done wore out dat reef, she only spittin out baby waves now cuz they done surf dem all out. An dat new grill is barely limpin down side of da highway lookin for new home, place where somebody treat her mo gentle. No bra, jus kiddin, dis one of da best crew you gonna meet, top to bottom. Today jus for fun we killed a small cow and make some good hamburgers, who dat yall? I take some fotos cuz we makes a small road trip to mainland mexico, here day are. Mainland Mexico.

9 and a half inches...oh shit man!

Well there you go, got your mind in da gutter all da time, we ain't talkin dirty up here on dis blog come on now, we clean christian boys up in here. I is talkin bout my new fin, nine and half inches of nose ridin pleasure for all da ladies on da beach. So I decide I needs to practice my nose ridin skeels cuz dats da boys get all white girls, so I see dis big ole fin and somebody done got smart and printed "Nose Rider" on side of dis big ole unit, now dat some good marketin, any ways I ain't tryin to compensate for some other department but I decides I gonna try it, work pretty good, jump up cheater 5 on da nose and she start to vibratin, there you go again mind in da gutta, I still talkin bout da fin bra...

Goin back to Callie...Surf Campeon de Costa Rica!

Well Callie up and whooped ever bodies ass in da nashnal surf competition down playa Hermosa, shit man won da try-fecter, boys under 16, under 18 and god almighty Open, dat strong or what? Props to da man from Esterillos, Go Callie, look out world tour...

Well day put him in da national newspaper and good thing day posted up a big picture cuz mosta da Soda Mary Surf Team still learnin how to read...by god we gettin there brothers.

Shot down in Flames

Well aint it a shame 2 be shot down in flames, Adam done went out gottim brand new golfin cart wid flamers on da side, fastest rig in town, den he headin down da hill bout 80 km per hour, wheel fly off, adam say shit man I man jumpin out, plow up on a bermy, betta dan a cliff on right hand side, ole buggy do a flip turn on top of Kealy's head, Pops done jump out too, skin up his knee...well man be careful out there, kine waves today bra...

Grillin and Chillin...

Well they got this raffle goin down at Super Sol ever time you invest in a 6 pack enter your name, bam, day draws my name, imagine dat bra, beer who dat? Any ways git her to her new home and da half moon bay crew is here, killin it down at Lecheria. Bruce is outta control on dat new grill, got some poke chops real cheap cuz ever body scared bout da pig flu, we ain't scared bra, we hungry...welcome back da kine Maui Jim, cousin Johnny, Big Bruce and Jason shred man, it all good up in here, kine people...