Monday, August 24, 2009

Welcome to da shit house...




Well Bruce an YaYa up here visit fo a while an next ting you know da god dang septic tang full o shit, so today we say gotta go to Punta me Anus an get some mo resin so we repairs some surfing boards, we checks out dat pint break, Boca brack mountain an dat shit all blown out look like Rev. Al Sharpey's taclke box, so we head on in down town, (I tink dis blog gone be a while), well we makes it back to da Ghetto to meet dat truck gonna pump da shit outta tha tank, pura vida so far...get da pump all sets up, me is workin with dem, crank up dat shit pump an god al might, god damn sparks flyin up in my face, I shut dat door on da board room, ole boy done crank dat motor with a pull strang, put it down, when we rocks dat motor backwards so dat pump prime up, dat god dang string catch up in dat fly wheel, whip dat strang round his fanger, cut that mutha fucker right off at the knuckle...dat mofo look at me with half a fanger, 2 drops of blood come out, I laugh just a little bit an say hey bro, you fanger on da floor, he say oh shit man, grab up his hand, no mo blood. Every tang cool, I call 911 an it busy, call Red Cross Jaco and they say you gotta calls Parita, I points down to da fanger layin on da floor an it jus pointin back at me, call 911 still busy, call Red Cross Paritta an day say dat ambulance on other side of da bridge, I say, hey bras lets finish this job an I drive Guillermo to hospital, so we works fo little mo while and then I says shit man gotta drive G to emergency, so we jump in Scooby Doo Mystery Machine an hauls ass fo Parrita, got the god damn fanger in a zip lock bag with ice on the mofo, tha clinic does our paper work, say day aint got no ambulancias, so we haul ass an wait on da bridge fo 15 minutes, tell story bout John Wayne an Texax, bridge open up an we in Quepos in 30 min, drop his ass at hospital, pura vida, Guillermo you a cool mofo, he say no care for dat frozen finger, we gots it in da fridge...mo tomorrow...

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Texas Chilly Gone Tribal...











Well Bruce is back in town done went all tribal on us, whoopin up some Texas Chilly fo dat tourney dat got won by bunch of cheaters by put chicken in it, mo like chicken soup but dat another story, any ways, congrats to Mike and Martha, Les and Yvonne, pura vida...we started drankin our costume but 8 in da mornin, by 4 clock we primed up, all good bra...

Friday, August 21, 2009

Francisco...El Rey de la Playa!


Well Francisco is a guard that works at an upscale hotel on the beach... and today his life is ruined. Ever day he see us enter dat hotel with surfboards and one day he say, I man wanna take surf lesson too bra! He stand bout 5 feet tall, bout 2 feet wide, smilin from ear to ear, so I says sure bra, we goin surf manana, hook him up on first wave he stand up like da king of da beach, ride it like a champ, dude is stoked, now he jus wanna quit his job, tink about panocha, dranks beers and surf, not necessary in dat order...good luck Francisco with your new fucked up life...

Chilli Cook-Off Warning...


Well if ya wanna jus get yo ass whoopin in a good ole fashion chilli cook-off, den brangs yo team on out to Vagos on Saturday fo dat first annuals Esterillos Oeste Chilli Spill, Soda Mary Surf Team is brangin in all da guns firin...jus remember, if you aint cheatin, you aint tryin...stay your ass on da porch...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Todd wins skim board Tourney...1st annual SMST Invitational











Well dat rain she starts comin down in large numbers, next ting we gots a big wall o watta shootin true Soda Mary look like da god dang Shlitta Bomb, so me an John grabs a broom, fuckin Todd grabs a skim board start shootin thru Soda Mary skatin round, we gets tired pushin water fo but 30 minutes, grab an icey cold and keeps workin, John starts singin ole slave song bout aint gots time fo drankin cuz master gottim workin...Pura Vida!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Double Surf Sessions...

Well today we run out to da baby girl reef and she lit up on fire look like Lestor Earl's birthday cake, so we tries a few excellent waves, fucking perfection in a bottle, then Lestor goes in (by the way he went in yesterday cuz his pussy bleedin too much, tractin sharks, but datta nother story), so we kill it for 3 hours til no mo gas in da tank, I makes it back to tha ghetto get some watta and some chocolate, rest boutta hour while the high tide says hello and goodbye, then paddle back out to perfection, take off on a perfect wave in front of da prison and by god hit a top turn and land on some stupid sombitch, lucky he's not dead wtih my new fin, any way good double surf session today bout 4 hours wave time...

Friday, August 14, 2009

The "Talker"...


Well today we paddles out, jus me and pat an the new an improved Cornelius, aka, Lestor Earl, we paddles into some perfection on da Baby Reef, Pat take da first wave, spin and go, good wave, now me an Lestor both take perfect waves, den some ting change, some sombitch paddle out, ole boy say, where you from? how long you here? well he jus a big talker, I say hey bra big set commin, I paddle away to catch dat set, but Les who is also a big Talker got caught up and sweep out with the tide, did not get a wave for a while...be careful fo da people dat wanna jus talk bra...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Outdoor Showers, God bless em...


Well thank goodness to outdoor showers, God bless em cus day sho comes in handy last night, I is walkin home from a drank fest when some ting grab hold my duo denim and say hey bra, you got some bidness to do with da pool, Obamas kids day waitin. I say oh shit man, gotta wait bouta nunther 50 steps, I can make dat, I starts high steps and skippin and a slow jog, well too late, done shit my pants, oh well, spray dem off wif watta hose, jump in da outdoor showa, god almighty...

Only ting I have fo dinner some chino food, but I aint seen no dogs up in here fo while now...