Merry Christmas...

Well I been busy as fuck, givin surf lessons an talkin lotta bullshit, but here a foto of my christmas tree...

Mo Rains...oh fuck!

Well dem ole tourists sufosedly be here by now but da god dang rain gottem scared...

Time runnin out fo dem Texans...

Well lookin like dem ole Texans Footmaball team suckin hind tit again dis year...

Hongreee!

Well I gots an ole chile dulce, onyon, havymanero peppa an a couples a garleeec, shit main I bout ready fo some dinners...

My plan fo 2012...Shhhhh!

Well dis my plan fo when da world gone ends in twenty-twelve...we gonna grow some dope, chile peppas an brew us up some beer...dis jus a protomotype.

WTF?...Fuckin Rainin...

Well look like da only place on da planet it still rainin...WTF?

Waves Today...

Well waves were perty fuckin good today...den we watch some football...

Little Green Chickens...

Well me an pops an adam decides we gonna have breakfast at a nice civilized stablishment dis mornin an dis god dang little green chicken keep on land on dat table try an scarf up dem avacado, plantain, scramblin egss, what evva he can get, margarita say next time come back fo some "sopa de lora", okay baby we be back...

Wild Turkey 101

Well me an Vago kills dis big chicken bout enough to feed da whole town, cooks it up big pot o lard an dat mofo taste perty good...

I is on a boat...

Well dis my buddy Joe, he on a boat an surfin on da kine Rusty board of foooook, hit da lip bra an catchy kine air bra, I bet day some putas in da boat settin on da side make dat kine wave...

Chapooooooo!...voy

Well ole chapulin decide he gone take up surfin so he go out get him an ole fire wires surfin board mother fucker broke it da first day chapoo says fuck a bunch of surf dis shit gettin spensive...

Surf Cam

Well we gettin all high tech up in here workin with state of the arts technology an ting so we cans get dis ole surf cam all hooked up an shit, just google las olas esterillos find their home page an scrodum down to da bottom an clicks on web cam an shit...

Cable Dude

Well if you thank you gone save yo ass some money by disconnect yo cable, you betta check yo check engine light cause dat shit ain't happnin, you gonna dranks more beers at da bar an next ting you a in-dentured servant for El Vago an you sayin oh fuck, jus wanna watch some american football...praise da cable dude fo hookin up our life line to da mainland...

Tackle Box

Well some folks is betta at organization skills dan others but dis is Don Ricardo's check book look like a fuckin tacklin box...

Japs n Wangs...

Well I thanks we gots all da food groups covered, jalapenos stuffed wit cream cheese an chickin wangs stuffed wit chicken an hot sauce...oh fuck.

Low Pressure System...

Well looks like da only place it's rainin is here in da ghetto, gotta god dang low pressure system settin on our ass, need to move off an let da summer begin bitch...

Make way fo Kool Aid Man on da kine wave...

Oh yea, kool aid, let's see you bust through that wall, pow...

Hey Kool-Aid Man...Oh Yeah!...Oh noooo!

Well I say, Hey Kool-aid Man, what the fuck? He says, "Oh Yeah!" like he's smokin' crack, mother fucker jumpin through walls ruin a bunch of sheet rock says "Oh Yeah!", oh no kool-aid man, fix that fucking wall bro...

Warrior...

Tomorrow we will paddle out to remember a warrior, all our prayers go out to Andy Irons, family and friends...a great surfer and legend, good people...

Hard Times and Hand Jobs

Well we settin around brain fartin while it stormin all over damn place and tourists have become an endangered species an I comes up with this wild ass promotion idea: Free Hand Job with Board Rental, fucking genius, and the rental boards start rollin out the door, well one board was rented and homey notices the promo on the sign says what about dat free hand job? an I says oh yea, hold on bro, I got this, Hey Miguel, here's a thousand colones, give this guy a hand job, thanks bro, Miguel spits on his hand, flashes his snaggle tooth grin an hooks it up behind da dumpster, pura vida, we rollin...

Train Wreck...Pelon vs. Lagarto...Oh Fuck

Well, I met Pelon many years ago when I was 2 years old, but all that don't matter when the law of physics get involved.

Summer Time...

Well look like summer time right around da corner, dis nice photo of father/daughter/surfers with that big orange ball sinkin in da watta...come on tourists, want some candy?

Gone Tico...WTF...

Well, that is not a big bottle of piss, that is my new gas can, I am officially gone Tico and you can buy gas at the bomba and carry it off in your hand if you want, or put it in a nice coca-cola bottle like I do, fuckin pura vida...got all my pressure washin done around the surf shop, that shit was gettin slippery as fuck, all good now...

Breast Cancer Awareness...

Well, Kealy been watchin football players wearin pink shoes, pink dew rags an he says, oh fuck, this is Breast Cancer Awareness month, so he goes out an get a pink bar of wax, I tink he take it a little too far...

New Surfer in Esterillos...

Wow, hard to believe he is not even 5 months old yet but he is ready to go for a surf...

Hard Times...

EEWell, today our CEO, Brett says we gotta cut some corners here, get ridda dat TV an internet an we cans make it to December, done, no more internet, no more NFL, no more baseball playoffs, no more fantasy football, even though I domimate, we all have to bite the bullet...I will blog again when the tourists coms back man...

Rain

Well da Rain is settin on top us, jus come on down like day aint no tomorrow fo bout 2 weeks now, my house been flooded bout 5 times now, I dont give a fuck, I jus walks around my slippers, what da fuck...

Happy Birthday Francela!

Well its the big big 13 years old Birthday for Francela, we celebrate with some pizzas, cold drinks, homemade chocolate cake an a new cell phone, uh oh...

Soda Mary Biker Club

Well ole T-Bone an his girl rolls into town from da Big Easy to da EO and starts da first chapta of Soda Mary Biker Club, Who Dat?

Sports Fishin...

Well ole boy Roberto Mr. Capn Wally himself rolls up into town with a new Texas crew, Huck, Derek and Barry some dem Gulf Coast high rollers an day decides we gone do some sportin fishin, any way we gits a little ole 26 foot panga outta Los Suenos an sets sail for da tree hour tour killin fish, killin beer, tellin lies, then Vago cooks it all up for us, Thanks Pat fo takin pitchers...

Tio Pelon WTF?

Well I sittin on da log one afta noon tellin lies to some gal from England when alls da sudden some sumbitch roll up from behind sound jus likes Tio Pelon, oh fuck, it is Tio by god just rolls on into town unannounced, game time decision, well we catch some perty good waves out front, boat trippin Coralillo (Rick from FLA joined in on dat one), a great time in EO, great to see my brother Drew!
We aint gots no fotos cuz Pat fogot da camera, oh fuck, just trew her unda da bus!

Who dat talkin bout beat dem Cardinals??

Well dem ole Arizona Cardinals fans is showin up ever where, hell we just had one couple left Paradise just to go back to Arizona an watch dem bitches on TV, now dat some loyalty, thank goodness Raiders aint gots a kicker or they still be lookin for a dub in da W column. I ran into one smart Cards fan (oxy moron) down in Parrita, he say he an ex Arizona Cardinal footmaball playa, I say well hell why aint you makin da big bucks, he says I makes mo money sellin corn in Parrita, good for you ole boy...We do miss Craig and Brooke, Pura Vida from EO! PS. your fantasy team sucks too...

Da Fix is in on dat Grill...

Well I know ever body still worryin bout dat grill da handle done fell off, well I got this, da grill is fixed, mix in little nuts and bolts, beer, wood, no dis aint no porn movie, dis is real life... gitter done!

Poor quality worksmanship...

Well, I just buy a new fan an hang dat bitch up on da ceilin, no wait, dat fan come wif da property, she bout 5 years old now, brand new, any ways, dat corrossion takin over an da fan fall off da ceilin explode on da ground, well look likes we gotta getta new a/c, oh fuck...

Boca Barranca

Well we been gettin dat south swell from bout 180 to 195 fo boutta week now an da Boca broke back Barranca just killin it fo boutta week now an my arms is tired of paddlin back out an paddlin cross dat cold ass chocolate milk river, but da waves is killin it, and dem standin up paddlin boards hoggin up waves too, but we been killin it too, fun surf. Me, adam, kealy, T-bone, Jenine, hangin out wit Cundino drankin cold beers...agua pipa, pipa fria, hay helados, cold pexsi, cerveza fria!
Dis photo belong to amy lei copy right, got it.

Playa blanca, coralillo, white sand, red tide, DOH...

Well, sorry for no bloggin last few weeks but I is busy, start out 8/19 we do playa blanca, nice waves, next day coralillo on a boat, DOH and red tide, we surf any ways, next day we judges a surfin contest, next day playa blanca, next day off, next day playa blanca, next day surf lesson, next day boca barranca, next day sportfishing, next day detox, yesterday boca barranca, today boca barranca, oh fuck, I tired...

Bye Chinos...go spam somewhere else.

Well we gots a lotta chinos commenting on da blog writin bullshit nonsense, well dats my job to write bullshit nonsense, no offense to you Johnny Dang, so I just added a new feature to da blog to regualate comments, FU Chino Bastards!

Bialeta...

Well fuck, I aint got no idea how dis mudda fuckin coffee maker works but da last 2 days I been brangin da surf lessons to Xandari, an da last 2 days I drankin coffee grounds, so I likek, what da fuck, I gots to go to work in 5 minutes bitch, my ole coffee maker done spin out tail slide, fuck, so today i figure out da bialete, however da fuck you spell her, but I drank a cups of coffee, my comedy is all good, my best joke is da board is 10 feet, da leash is 10 feet, so 10 plus 10, you gots to jump off at least 15 feet before, I dont gots calculator on da beach...

Wow

Well, just fuckin Wow...

This photo was taken by a good friend, and I stole it from facebook so please give credit to Teri Dominey for photography, wow.