Nigga dat Bee done whoop yo ass...

Well dis aint first time story been told bout Tio Pelon, he was workin in da ghetto, jus like where we live, sep fo aint no black folks, got the call on 911, Pelon is a fireman, bunch of ole black men playin dominoes in a vacant lot, ole boy takes a swig from his ole wine coola, bee stings his ass on da tongue, swells up and god dang medical emergency, well some ole sanford and son lookin mofo rolls up on a bicyle swoops up to da back of dat ambulance where Tio Pelon is workin for taxpayers dollars and says, "Nigga dat bee done whoop yo ass" true story.

Valedictorian Francela Graduates with Top Honors

Well I remember when I took Francela to Kindergarden posted up on a mountain bike, peddling through the sand down the beach of Esterillos Centro, drop her off, pick her up, good times. Well yesterday she graduated from 6th grade, so I post up at the 3 hour graduation, walk down the aisle just like a wedding, they announce the Valedictorian, Francela Jimenez Schroeder, best gpa in the graduating class, well all of a sudden I got some dust in my eyes and the tears are rollin down my face. Francela may be the next President of Costa Rica. "Te Quiero Papi", that's what she tells me. I am very proud.

PS: my camera is still out of order, I will post photos asap.

Manscaping...

Well some time dat grass grows up so high you can't see dat green forest fo da god dam trees...well any ways today I decide to bring in dat D5 Dozer (Larry knows what I talkin bout) an push down all da trees, kinda like a "start over" project, well Pat is runnin dat D5 very gentle an kind...sep fo one time she clip my nipple feel like god almighty, well I okay now. Final resust, a little grass on da playin field... play ball... bring on da high season an bring you wallet...

Yoga and Garbage Trucks...

Weeel we got dat whole crew out here doin dat ole Yoga cuz it makes you feel skinny when you paddles on out to da big waves, any ways we got Cailin leadin da way nice an calm an soothing, ole Legend all twisted up in a knot, Adam says gotta cramp in his buthole, Les look like Mr. Potato Head, (not really bra you lookin good), I look like Mr. Potato Head on Steroids, Pat lookin all sexy, Yo Shawnee all posted up an twisted up, we gotta great thang goin here, then dem ole dogs runnin round up in here, we postin up in da shade at El Vago World Headquarters in da shade, dem dogs commence to wrastlin round, barkin, runnin into da yoga team, next ting I knows, Pat's dog Rio is flopped out on da mat next to me doin da inch worm on her back, god dam dogs doin Yoga! Jus when you think no mas, well today is Thursday you know what dat mean, dat bad ass garbage truck pulls up and starts yankin out garbage bags from dem "Come-Huevos" who leave day trash on da beach an by god we gotta little stench passin tru da Yoga sesh, any ways we all da way up on Zen mode, don't even notice bra...

Que Computadora mas Eee-way-puta-Dora!

Well ya know when da god dang teknology gotcha by da short hairs when first of all yo god dang camera goes into mushroom mode and all da fotos look like psycodelic, next up yo old laptop give up da ghost cuz ole Legend lookin fo some lyrics on some porn site, next day dat keyboard gets to park in handicap spot, so I retrieve my ole laptop from Jimena and by god, it refuse to connect to dat world wide web, which Al Gore invented btw, so my boy Chino goes to work on all dem ole slaptops an by god today he says, halleluha, dat ole Toshiba done connected up to da wwdub, well I say, time to start bloggin again, cuz writin a blog jus like feedin birds, you quits writin, dem birds go away... any ways bra, we back live here from da EO 2778, dodgin bullets an catchin waves, cuz dem wave come back today...

Snow in H-Town...

Dis my boy, he live in Houston, look like fuckin polar bear... today was bout 95 not a fuckin cloud in da sky...Go Coogs!

Bruce Lee makes Capitan of Soda Mary Surf Team...

Well, I dont care what tha mutha fuckas say, he got 2 first names, he is my hero...I jus finish watchin a movie bout Bruce Lee and he had to whoop a gorillas ass at the end of dat movie, he is my hero...pura vida bra...

Poo Poo Truck...muevase bra!

Well I sittin down disfrutando on ice cold pop up down in El Vago when da god damn poo poo truck pulls up parks right on dat grassy knoll, look around smell like some body done ripped ass, hey mudda fucka, move dat truck bra, we tryin drank some beers up in here...so he moves his ass on down dat road park up in front Jimmy house...